Avoidance coping is an ineffective method of coping which includes an effort to completely avoid dealing with a situation or stressor. This method tends to be utilized if the situation or stressor triggers an unpleasant memory or if the person coping fears conflict. Perhaps they have dealt with unpleasant conflict in the past and would prefer to avoid what could possibly be conflictual in the future. This can be extremely frustrating to one’s partner as it makes it almost impossible to have healthy discussions on important relationship issues.
If this is you, and you are merely trying to avoid your partner getting upset with you, or upset in general, know this is not the most effective way to do that. If your partner is participating in avoidance coping, you will be all too familiar with the frustration this can cause. Feeling stagnant in your relationship despite your best efforts can be a difficult place to be, for either partner. Avoiding confronting a problem in your relationship could actually be exacerbating the issue by not facing it head on and nipping future problems in the bud.
People who are interested in a quick fix, or what works for them in the short term will often be more interested in avoidance coping. People love staying in their comfort zones, and change can frankly be uncomfortable. Avoiding one thing in your life will often have a domino effect, and other parts of your life will start to experience turmoil as well. Break the cycle by facing your fears head on. Sit down with your partner and really listen to the issues they feel exist in your relationship. Make a list of what needs to be dealt with to make your goals more tangible. Tackling what may seem like the easiest task will get you going and will provide a sense of accomplishment. Once you get on a roll, it may be easier to face the issues you have been avoiding all this time.
If this is you, and you are merely trying to avoid your partner getting upset with you, or upset in general, know this is not the most effective way to do that. If your partner is participating in avoidance coping, you will be all too familiar with the frustration this can cause. Feeling stagnant in your relationship despite your best efforts can be a difficult place to be, for either partner. Avoiding confronting a problem in your relationship could actually be exacerbating the issue by not facing it head on and nipping future problems in the bud.
People who are interested in a quick fix, or what works for them in the short term will often be more interested in avoidance coping. People love staying in their comfort zones, and change can frankly be uncomfortable. Avoiding one thing in your life will often have a domino effect, and other parts of your life will start to experience turmoil as well. Break the cycle by facing your fears head on. Sit down with your partner and really listen to the issues they feel exist in your relationship. Make a list of what needs to be dealt with to make your goals more tangible. Tackling what may seem like the easiest task will get you going and will provide a sense of accomplishment. Once you get on a roll, it may be easier to face the issues you have been avoiding all this time.
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